Kentucky Fried Chicken goes Kentucky F***ed Chicken in a bizarrely real KFC dating simulator called I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator. We’re not kidding.

This uncomfortably good-looking dating simulator will allow you to do the one thing we’ve all dreamed of: date a fictional aged chef designed to carry on the legacy of a man who got into a shootout over the repainting of a road sign.

I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator is not only a real product, but it appears to have a lot of care put into it. Not only is the art actually gorgeous, but it appears to have actual mechanics, too.

The KFC dating simulator claims to feature “cooking battles” and “battle battles”. We’re not sure what that last part means but we doubt it’ll let us recreate the Shell garage shootout of 1930.

The game features the following features:

– 9 lovable characters (debatable)
– Multiple hours of play-through
– Dateable Colonel Sanders
– A secret ending! Shh!
– Secret recipes! Double Shh!
– Cooking battles
– Battle battles
– Earn a degree from a fictional culinary school
– 11 Herbs and Spices
– Cute miniature food
– Officially created by KFC. No, really.

The game doesn’t currently have a release date, but you can be damn sure we’ll play it when it does. At least, throughout all of this, KFC may actually release a better video game than Burger King.

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