Strand Consulting -iPhone owners held captive by “Stockholm Syndrome”

 Strand Consulting has taken an objective look at iPhone owners and have come to the same conclusion many of us have.  They are not very well, psychologically speaking of course.

Noting that iPhone owners would go to extra-ordinary lengths to defend the failings of their device, Strand Consulting diagnosed this aberrant behaviour as a form of Stockholm Syndrome – where hostages identify with their captors and would actually defend them and resist being released.

They make special mention of many ways the iPhone has historically been inferior, and the arguments their fans use to justify where the features are in fact not just unnecessary, but would hinder their use of the phone. Amusingly when Apple finally does provide the feature iPhone owners often feel only Apple could have implemented it right, making Apple’s version the one now anointed as “the right way to do it.

Strand’s lengthy list of examples include:

1.    The first iPhone was not a 3G phone: What do you need 3G for? You can easily use the iPhone without using a 3G network and anyway, 3G is not particularly widespread, so this is not a problem.

2.    The phone cannot send MMS: There is no need to send MMSs, hardly anybody sends MMSs.

3.    You cannot forward a SMS: This is a function that hardly anybody uses and was therefore not included in the first iPhones.

4.    The phone has a poor camera: The built-in camera is perfectly adequate and the iPhone takes fantastic photos with its camera.

5.    It is not a real Smartphone, it cannot multitask: The phone has all the necessary functions and the OS is technically superior compared to other Smartphone OSs currently on the mobile market.

6.    The iPhone cannot multitask, resulting in a great number of applications being unusable: The absence of multitasking is a deliberate design decision resulting in a faster UI.

7.    You can not change battery on the iPhone: How many customers run around with spare batteries? None or very few.

8.    Apple decides which applications you can install on the phone: This is good, because Apple thereby ensures that you do not get inferior programs on your phone.

9.    The app store is a closed universe: Apple knows what is best for end users, which is good for the many iPhone users.

10. The phone does not support Java, so games need to be developed especially for the iPhone: Java is slow and not properly integrated with mobile phones, games for the iPhone are much better because they are directly developed for the iPhone.

11. The app store contains numerous small trivial commercial programs: The app store’s large selection gives users the freedom of choice and the many small programs help make the end users daily lives more fun.

12. It is difficult to use the touchscreen for fast SMS messaging: The touchscreen makes the phone easier to use and you quickly get used to it.

13. The iPhone is a low technology phone packaged in a sleek design: Apple has taken the combination of the design and UI to the next level, therefore the technological specifications don’t really matter.

14. The quality of the phone is poor, calls are often interrupted and network coverage is poor: It is a good phone, these problems are due to the operators’ networks and not the phone.

15. You can only purchase the iPhone from operators chosen by Apple: Apple has spent a great deal of time and energy selecting the best operators for customers.

16. The iPhone is targeted at a niche segment and will not be able to develop further: Apple has succeeded in designing a phone for people that appreciate design and user friendliness.

17. The iPhone does not support memory cards: Iphones already offer the necessary memory people require and end users can choose between two models, one with a little memory and one with a great deal of memory.

18. You can not install your own browser: The browser Apple has designed is so superior that you do not need any other browser on your phone.

19. You cannot use the iPhone as a modem for your portable PC: People that have an iPhone do not need their portable when on the move.

20. There is no radio in the phone: You do not need a radio in your iPhone because the iPhone supports iTunes that offers almost unlimited music.

Of course Strand Consulting notes that any company would be ecstatic to have such a fanatical fan base, but at WMPU we can only recommend that iFans seek some help.

Read more at Strand Consulting here.

Via Allaboutphones.nl.